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To contain happiness

Clients come to therapy when everything is bad—there are many unresolved internal issues, anxiety, fatigue, depression, haste, and some eternal waiting for happiness and joy. "When something changes in the outside world—when a good job comes, when I have a family, when I get a new house, when children are born, when children grow up... Then I will be happy!"

But happiness does not depend on external circumstances. Happiness is an internal state, and to feel it, you need to make room for it! You need to clear away the piles of resentment, criticism, self-rejection, rejection of others, and the opinions and desires of others.

It is very important to learn to track your emotional state and internal dialogue. Whose voices are speaking in your head? What arguments are you having inside, and with whom? And how do you feel about it?

If most of your thoughts are negative, if you have many complaints about yourself and others, if you tend to criticize and find faults, if you are constantly looking for someone to blame, then it will be difficult to experience positive emotions. Habits are formed over the years, so it is not possible to change them overnight. But it is worth trying!

To shift the focus of attention from negativity, there is a good, simple exercise that I can share. You can write down 5-10 things you are grateful for. For the roof over your head, for food, for a new day, for the smile of a child, for morning coffee, for your hands, for your legs—there is always something to be grateful for in life. Place this list by your bed and read it before sleep and immediately upon waking for a month. Your emotional background will begin to improve subtly. This is just the first step toward a better mood. Create little joys for yourself, take care of yourself, praise and support yourself! After all, the more positive emotions you have inside, the easier it will be for happiness to enter your life!