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Once again about feelings

In consultations, the discussion always revolves around emotions. Why talk about feelings and why is it healing? At the core of all difficult life situations, such as relationship conflicts, self-esteem issues, difficulties in self-perception, and others, are emotions and feelings that the client finds intolerable. Usually, these emotions include rage, disgust, fear, shame, guilt, helplessness, and various combinations of them. Experiencing these emotions is painful for a person, and the psyche blocks them.

A person does not feel the pain itself but feels anger and aggression, which are also suppressed. Suppressed emotions can lead to psychosomatic disorders or explode with double force, often "misdirected." An example might be a conflict with a boss, where the person suppresses their anger, comes home, and vents on their children.

By developing the ability to differentiate emotional states, a person reduces their intensity. An "inner observer" is formed—a part of the ego that allows a person to observe what is happening while maintaining a sense of stability without becoming overly emotionally involved.

The ability to endure one's own shame and fear, to experience one's pain, are essential conditions for successful functioning in society. This can be done from the position of an observer: there is my fear, and there is I, who sees my fear, and therefore, I am more than my fear. In this way, fear does not consume or paralyze; it simply points to new experiences.

As emotional intelligence develops, the body's tension and overall anxiety levels decrease, because a person is able to recognize their emotions and experience them, seeing in them direction and a compass for further growth. Emotions are the signaling system of the body; understanding the signals of negative emotions means freeing up space for entirely different experiences, such as joy, pleasure, interest, and tenderness!